Clever Jabs Quotes

That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them.

Never interrupt me when I'm trying to interrupt you.

Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded.

As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls.

Thus far, the reputed idiot Bush has graduated from Yale and Harvard, made a stack of cash in the oil industry, become the first consecutive-term governor of Texas, defeated a dual-term VP for the presidency, and led his party to [November 5th's] extraordinary triumphs. Let his opponents keep calling him stupid; if they do, within five years Bush will be King of England, the Pope, and world Formula One motor racing champion.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.

I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

I dote on his very absence.

I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand.

A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.

Cocaine is God's way of telling someone that they're too rich.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.