A University of Chicago professor said the greatest day in the world was when a water puppy crawled out on land and decided to stay. The water puppy, he said, went on to become a man. If he proves that, I am willing to give up Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year's Day, and to celebrate Water Puppy Day.
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.