Clever Jabs Quotes

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already.

The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit.

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.

Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad.

Deep versed in books and shallow in himself.

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence.