Bill Maher (b. 1956)

Quotes

• The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

• Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

• Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

• Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

• The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

• The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

• Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

• The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm The Beatles.

• We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

• Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars - are all legal now. Discuss.