Quote by Bill Maher (b. 1956)

• Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

• Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

• The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

• The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

• Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars - are all legal now. Discuss.

• Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.