Random Quotes

Be fit for more than the thing you are now doing. Let everyone know that you have a reserve in yourself; that you have more power than you are now using. If you are not too large for the place you occupy, you are too small for it.

I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.

No one who has read official documents needs to be told how easy it is to conceal the essential truth under the apparently candid and all- disclosing phrases of a voluminous and particularizing report....

Peace for any prolonged period of time is impossible. Humans have a natural thirst for chaos and war is the most readily available form of chaos.

Make your bargain before beginning to plow.

I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

The outward freedom that we shall attain will only be in exact proportion to the inward freedom to which we may have grown at a given moment. And if this is a correct view of freedom, our chief energy must be concentrated on achieving reform from within.

One man's religion is another man's belly laugh.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?"

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.

Examine what is said, not him who speaks.

A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king.

The perfect bureaucrat everywhere is the man who manages to make no decisions and escape all responsibility.

If it weren't for women, men would still be wearing last week's socks.

MIRACLE, n. An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.

That’s who you really like. The people you can think out loud in front of.

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.