Dorothy Parker
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i like to have a martini,
two at the very most -
at three i'm under the table,
at four, i'm under the host!
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A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
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The only "ism" hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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"Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
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I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
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If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think "How lucky are the dead.
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.
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I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
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They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.
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His voice was a intimate as the rustle of sheets.
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Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
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I'm never going to be famous. I don't do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
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This is on me.
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant --- and let the air out of their tires.
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The two most beautiful words in the English language are ``check enclosed.''
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By whom?
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One more drink and I'll be under the host.
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"Coolidge is dead"
"How could they tell?
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If they laid all the coeds from Yale end to end...I wouldn't be surprised.
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I really can't come to your party Mrs. Parker, I can't bear fools."
That's strange; your mother could.
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Trapped, like a trap in a trap.
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Famous actress bragging about her husband: Look at him, isn't he beautiful I have kept him for seven years now"
Dorothy Parker: Don't Worry--he'll come back in style"
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That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say "No" in any of them.
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.
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The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit suprised.
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The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
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My land is bare of chattering folk;
the clouds are low along the ridges,
and sweet's the air with curly smoke
from all my burning bridges.
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Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.
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Scratch an actor - and you'll find an actress.
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I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
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The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.
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She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
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Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.
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You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.
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Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live.
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If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
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I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
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This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
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This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
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That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them.
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I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true.
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I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.
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If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
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Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
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The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.
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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
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The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.'
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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
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Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
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The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.