Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

Quotes

• i like to have a martini,
  two at the very most -
  at three i'm under the table,
  at four, i'm under the host!

• A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

• The only "ism" hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

• "Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

• I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

• If wild my breast and sore my pride,
  I bask in dreams of suicide,
  If cool my heart and high my head
  I think "How lucky are the dead.

• Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
  A medley of extemporanea;
  And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
  And I am Marie of Romania.

• I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

• They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.

• His voice was a intimate as the rustle of sheets.

• Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

• I'm never going to be famous. I don't do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

• This is on me.

• Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

• The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant --- and let the air out of their tires.

• The two most beautiful words in the English language are ``check enclosed.''

• By whom?

• One more drink and I'll be under the host.

• "Coolidge is dead"
  "How could they tell?

• If they laid all the coeds from Yale end to end...I wouldn't be surprised.