Dorothy Parker

Quotes

i like to have a martini,
two at the very most -
at three i'm under the table,
at four, i'm under the host!
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
The only "ism" hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
"Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think "How lucky are the dead.
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.
His voice was a intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
I'm never going to be famous. I don't do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
This is on me.
Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant --- and let the air out of their tires.
The two most beautiful words in the English language are ``check enclosed.''
By whom?
One more drink and I'll be under the host.
"Coolidge is dead"
"How could they tell?
If they laid all the coeds from Yale end to end...I wouldn't be surprised.
I really can't come to your party Mrs. Parker, I can't bear fools."
That's strange; your mother could.
Trapped, like a trap in a trap.
Famous actress bragging about her husband: Look at him, isn't he beautiful I have kept him for seven years now"
Dorothy Parker: Don't Worry--he'll come back in style"
That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say "No" in any of them.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.
The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit suprised.
The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
My land is bare of chattering folk;
the clouds are low along the ridges,
and sweet's the air with curly smoke
from all my burning bridges.
Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.
Scratch an actor - and you'll find an actress.
I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.
You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.
Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them.
I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true.
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.'
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.