Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

Quotes

• If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

• Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.

• I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

• The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

• They sicken of the calm who know the storm.

• This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

• This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

• You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

• That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them.

• I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true.

• I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.

• If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

• Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

• The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.

• That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

• Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

• The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.'

• Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

• Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

• Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.