Oscar Levant

When you give up drinking, you have to deal with that wonderful personality that started you drinking in the first place.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

So little time and so little to do.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Happiness is not something you experience, it's something you remember

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

I once said cynically of a politician, "He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it"

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

So little time, so little to do.

I knew her before she was a virgin.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel underneath.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

I don't drink; I don't like it - it makes me feel good.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.