Drinking Quotes

Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake.

It's always difficult to make conversation with a drunk, and there's no denying it, the sober are at a disadvantage with him.

Nothing anyone says in a bar is true.

Slap a mask on a drunk and you're going to have trouble. It's like having a live reenactment of anonymous forum comments.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

[Water is] the only drink for a wise man.

Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.

It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over wine.

And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.