Martin Mull

Living with small children is like having a bowling alley set up in your brain.

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

It's hard to decide if TV makes morons out of everyone or if it mirrors Americans who really are morons to begin with.

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O.