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Quotes

• Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.

• Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.

• Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.

• Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.

• Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

• Barnum was wrong - it's more like every 30 seconds.

• Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

• Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

• Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

• Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

• Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

• Fools rush in where fools have been before.

• He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.

• He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch.

• I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.

• In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.

• I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'

• Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.

• Oh, come on. If you can't laugh at the walking dead, who can you laugh at?

• People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.