Computers Quotes

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

One would think that if you're anonymous, you'd do anything you want, but groups have their own sense of community and what we can do.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

Compromise used to mean that half a loaf was better than no bread. Among modern statesmen it really seems to mean that half a loaf is better than a whole loaf.

No computer has ever been designed that is ever aware of what it's doing; but most of the time, we aren't either.

My computer beat me at chess... so I beat it at kickboxing.

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.

The computing field is always in need of new cliches.

Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little.

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

The computer is a moron.

Most people believe that if you go in and try to micromanage a forest, it is possible to destroy the very thing that makes it a unique and special place. That's just as true of the Net.

Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?

Today, you always know whether you are on the Internet or on your PC's hard drive. Tomorrow, you will not care and may not even know.

The Goliath of totalitarianism will be brought down by the David of the microchip.

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.