Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Quotes

• Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

• The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

• The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

• When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
  But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

• Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

• It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

• Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.

• The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right.

• Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

• The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

• There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

• When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

• Your faith is what you believe, not what you know.

• The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

• Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

• The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way.

• With ignorance and arrogance, success is assured.

• Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

• Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

• Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth.