Religion Quotes

Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

Those who seek consolation in existing churches often pay for their peace of mind with a tacit agreement to ignore a great deal of what is known about the way the world works.

I've often thought the Bible should have a disclaimer in the front saying this is fiction.

The only time anyone's admitted they were a Christian before was when they were busy telling me why they're better than me.

Never confuse the faith with the supposedly faithful.

Clergymen have much the same in their breeches as other men.

Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn't be religious people.

My mom grew up in Spanish Harlem and the Bronx and gave me an invaluable piece of advice for dealing with people in New York - if someone's bugging you just act crazy. I've modified her approach somewhat. Public displays of religiosity work just as well as feigning psychosis.

I would no more quarrel with a man because of his religion than I would because of his art.

The home of a clergyman is constantly judged by its parishioners. If it is too large and richly decorated, it is the subject of jealousy. If it is too small and humble, it is the subject of scorn. If it is too clean and orderly, it is considered a museum where charity is untouched and kept in a box. If it is slovenly, it is the subject of disgust.

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father's religion, if they can find out what it is.

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth.

A cult is a religion with no political power.

The true meaning of religion is thus not simply morality, but morality touched by emotion.

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

When she was a small girl, Amanda hid a ticking clock in an old, rotten tree trunk. It drove woodpeckers crazy. Ignoring tasty bugs all around them, they just about beat their brains out trying to get at the clock. Years later, Amanda used the woodpecker experiment as a model for understanding capitalism, Communism, Christianity, and all other systems that traffic in future rewards rather than in present realities.

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'