Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Quotes

• The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

• There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

• The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

• I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

• It is easier to stay out than get out.

• In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

• Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

• It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.

• Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

• You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

• I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

• The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

• The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

• It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

• Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

• When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

• Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

• It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

• Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.

• It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.