Children Quotes

• The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.

• You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's.

• Some people seem as if they can never have been children, and others seem as if they could never be anything else.

• Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

• Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

• Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.

• The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

• Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their
  food, and tyrannize their teachers.

• Children always understand. They have open minds. They have built-in shit detectors.

• One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

• I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.

• The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.

• Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.

• Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

• Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all thirty feet tall.

• Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.

• A strict master will not have understanding sons.

• The man who disobeys his parents will have disobedient sons.

• We each have the kind of children we deserve.

• We each have the kind of children we deserve.

Featured Authors on Children