Phyllis Diller
Quotes
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.