Bill Cosby
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The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
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Sigmund Freud once said, "What do women want?" The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.
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One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children--unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.
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If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it.
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I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
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Gray hair is God's graffiti.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
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I really do plan to get out of show business within five years or so.
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I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
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For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
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Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
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Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
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When you become senile, you won't know it.
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Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
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Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.
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Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.
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I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
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If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
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Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
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Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
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Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
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The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
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The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
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The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
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You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
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In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.