Mitch Hedberg
Quotes
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I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
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I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
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I haven't slept for a whole week, because that would be too long.
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I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
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I find that a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.