Quote by Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)

• I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

• You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

• I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

• I find that a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.

• I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

• I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.