Randy K. Milholland (b. 1975)

Quotes

• The shortest verse in the Bible is 'Jesus wept.' The only thing wrong with it is the past tense.

• The only time anyone's admitted they were a Christian before was when they were busy telling me why they're better than me.

• Never confuse the faith with the supposedly faithful.

• I barely trust established sources of information. I have a hard time finding [Wikipedia], an encyclopedia that anyone can alter, to be a safe way to learn about anything except how many idiots think their opinions are a suitable substitute for facts.

• I guess that's how death works. It doesn't matter if we're ready or not. It just happens.

• It's not a matter of whether or not someone's watching over you. It's just a question of their intentions.

• Our heroes are people and people are flawed. Don't let that taint the thing you love.

• People age even when you're not looking.

• Desperate is not a sexual preference.

• Being prepared for loss is never the same as being ready for it.

• You can't show love to someone at the expense of someone else who loves you.

• You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard-happy.

• Friendship is being there when someone's feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.

• A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted.

• Ah, sweet alcohol. Like a true friend, you replace the anger with better, louder anger.

• Think of life as a giant, fat cat you're in charge of. Sometimes you can control it, but other times, it's going to do what it wants and you have to roll with it. And sometimes you can do everything - everything you're s'posed to do- and it'll still shred all the things you hold dear... The only thing you can really do with life is rub its belly and prepare for the worst.

• Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later.

• Death likes it when you play hard to get.

• The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore.

• I've accepted that I'm not going to die of natural causes, [but] getting killed 'cuz you're naturally a dick seems like natural causes to me.