Woody Allen (b. 1935)

Woody Allen is an American filmmaker, actor, writer, and comedian. In a career spanning eight decades, he has written for film, television, and theater, and has published several short stories, a novel, and a memoir. Allen has received many accolades, including the most nominations (16) for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. He has won four Academy Awards, ten BAFTA Awards, two Golden Globe Awards and a Grammy Award, as well as nominations for a Emmy Award and a Tony Award. Allen has also received numerous honors, including an Honorary Golden Lion in 1995, the BAFTA Fellowship in 1997, an Honorary Palme d'Or in 2002, and the Golden Globe Cecil B. DeMille Award in 2014. Two of his films have been inducted into the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress.

Quotes

There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Eternity is very long, especially towards the end.
Bisexuality automatically doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym.
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I am at two with nature.
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

God
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Atheism
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

Death, Immortality
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Atheism
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

‹ Prev

Next ›