Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

Wilson Mizner was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1911. He was manager and co-owner of the restaurant The Brown Derby in Los Angeles, California, and was part of the failed project of his older brother Addison to create a new resort in Boca Raton, Florida. He and Addison are the protagonists of Stephen Sondheim's musical Road Show.

Quotes

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

Listening
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

Death
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

Birth
God help those who do not help themselves.
Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

Doubt, Education, Faith
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
The worst-tempered people I've ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.
Life is a tough proposition and the first hundred years are the hardest.
I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education.
Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor - unassisted.
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.