H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

Henry Louis Mencken was an American journalist, essayist, satirist, cultural critic, and scholar of American English. He commented widely on the social scene, literature, music, prominent politicians, and contemporary movements. His satirical reporting on the Scopes Trial, which he dubbed the "Monkey Trial", also earned him attention. The term Menckenian has entered multiple dictionaries to describe anything of or pertaining to Mencken, including his combative rhetorical and prose styles.

Quotes

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

Golf
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Taxes
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

Americans
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

Celebrities
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.

Boredom
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
Never let your inferiors do you a favor - it will be extremely costly.
A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Politics
For every problem there is a solution which is simple, clean and wrong.
For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

Trust
The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution.
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore.
In this world of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, thehelpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters.
If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.

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