You have to be realistic about terrorism. Certain groups of people, certain groups, Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montana, are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time.
Quote by George Carlin
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I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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