Quote by George Carlin (1937-2008)

• Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

• Think of a person of average intelligence, and then realise half of the fucking country is more stupid than that idiot.

• As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

• I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it.

• Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

• I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.