People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty. — Demetri Martin. American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist (born 1973)
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
I like sports bars. Sports bars are great because they collect all of the people I don't want to hang out with, and put them in one room.