Quote by Erna Bombeck

• Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

• There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

• My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

• One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

• If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

• What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?