I like men who wear earrings. They've bought jewelry and they've experienced pain.
Rita Rudner
Quotes
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
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My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''
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Before I met my husband I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
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I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.