John Barrymore

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

One of my chief regrets during my recent years in the theater is that I couldn't sit in the audience and watch me.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

A man must properly pay the fiddler. In my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra had to be subsidized.

Brides aren't happy - they are just triumphant.

The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good.

Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass and some cracked ice.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.