Bill Watterson

I think most of us would be horrified to meet ourselves and discover what everyone else already knows about us.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

Failures are very public, and successes are short lived. It's the pleasure of drawing funny pictures that makes up for it.

If we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.

As a kid, I knew I wanted to be either a cartoonist or an astronaut. The latter was never much of a possibility, as I don't even like riding in elevators.

Virtue isn't 'better' than vice. It's just different.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

Unfortunately, we're all "someone else" to someone else.

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you become informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize that nothing is as clear and simple as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Today my spirit is going to school while my body stays in bed.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I have plentyof common sense! I just choose to ignore it.