The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success. — Robert Benchley. American writer and actor (1889–1945)
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.