Quote by Matt Groening (b. 1954)

• Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

• Warning signs that lover is bored:
  1. Passionless kisses
  2. Frequent sighing
  3. Moved, left no forwarding address.

• You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

• If money is the root of all evil, then why do we have to have jobs?

• Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

• Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.