Quote by Erma Bombeck (1927-1996)

• My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

• When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.

• Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

• I told you I was sick.

• I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

• Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.