Lewis Grizzard

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and giver a house.

Being a newspaper columnist is like marrying a nymphomaniac - It's great for the first two weeks.

Life is like a dogsled race--if you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.