Herb Caen

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

There are more of them than us.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?

The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there.

All American cars are basically Chevrolets.

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.