Calvin Trillin (b. 1935)

Quotes

• In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses.

• The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

• I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

• The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives.

• Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.

• Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

• Marriage is part of a sort of 50's revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.

• Before I go out to take a picture of someone, I just stop at the city desk and say, 'Do you want him gazing out toward the sunset or picking his nose?'

• Health food makes me sick.