Anonymous

Quotes

• Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's picture on the back of a milk carton.

• Religion is for those who don't want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for those of us who have already been through it.

• In every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

• Our land is more valuable than your money. As long as the sun shines and the waters flow, this land will be here to give life to men and animals; therefore, we cannot sell this land. It was put here for us by the Great Spirit and we cannot sell it because it does not belong to us.

• Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.

• There was a young man of Dundoo,
  Whose limericks stopped at line 2.

• There was a young woman named Jenny,
  Whose limericks weren't worth a penny.
  Her rhythm and rhyme
  Were perfectly fine
  But whenever she tried to write any,
  She always had one line too many.

• There once was a young man from Lyme
  Who couldn't get his limericks to rhyme
  When asked "Why not?"
  It was said that he thought
  They were probably too long and badly structured and not at all very funny.

• Great minds think alike, and fools seldom differ.

• Two sodium atoms are walking along the street when one stops and says, "Oh my God, I think I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" asks the other sodium atom. "Yes," replies the first sodium atom, "I'm positive."

• Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

• Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.

• Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

• A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.

• Concern should drive us into action and not into depression.

• Some people get angry because God put thorns on roses, while others praise him for putting roses among thorns.

• Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.

• The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.

• If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, how will the Environmentalists react?

• Alas my love you do me wrong,
  To cast me of discurteously;
  And I have loved you so long,
  Delighting in your company.