Stephen Leacock

I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.

It may be that those who do most, dream most.

I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to go out and kill something.

Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.

Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.