Roseanne Barr

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming.

I hate the word housewife; I don't like the word home-maker either. I want to be called Domestic Goddess.

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.

I know how to do anything - I'm a mom.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, ``Sorry, we're open.''

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow.