Peter De Vries

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff - it is a palliative rather than a remedy.

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.

Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.