Josh Billings

The trouble with most folks isn't so much their ignorance. It's know'n so many things that ain't so.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one place.

I dont care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.

Ive never known a person to live to one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he had got.

One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn't even eat hash with safety.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

My son, observe the postage stamp! Its usefulness depends upon its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.

Those who enter heaven may find the outer walls plastered with creeds, but they won't find any on the inside.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

It may be risky to marry for love, but it's so honest that the Lord just has to smile on it.

You can buy a pretty good dog with a lot of money, but you can't buy the wag of its tail.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are and doing things as they ought to be done.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefullness consits in the ability to stick to one thing 'til it gets there.

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.