Jeff Foxworthy

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.