Don Marquis

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

A hypocrite is a person who--but who isn't?

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

An optimist is a man who has never had much experience.

The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

A pessimist is a person who has to listen to too many optimists.

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity marry, and perpetuate his kind.

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.