Bill Vaughan

The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.

The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.

We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.